Other Burrows
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Friday, July 10, 2009
I am slow in getting back here. Sorry about that.
I want to thank all of the people who helped make both Origins and AnthroCon successful Cons. There are far too many of you to name, so all I will do is say; Thanks for the support!
Monday I will be back on a regular update schedule.
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
So I have my 1st ever -new- computer, made it and everything that can play all the new games. What am I doing? Playing Persona 3 on the PS2.
Current mood:  silly
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
The Friday BBQ at boojum_bunn's was great - as were the 2 Dragonstorm games: one ref'd by shadowcatt_x [where my character couldn't speak the local language until the end of the game] - and the other ref'd by boojumbunn - while gil_liant, dajagr and I just played and nom'd.
Then all 5 of us saw a matinee of "Transformers 2", Saturday, and it was better than having rabies - credit for that to yourbob - but that may have been because shadowcatt_x would periodically interrupt my whimpers of brain revolt by patting me on the arm and assuring me, 'Don't worry, there's more explosions coming up'. But there were nowhere near enough explosions.
Sunday was a nice all-CoH day and then today [Monday] there were a few chores and BASFA in the evening. It was a nice holiday weekend [plus Monday].
Current mood:  happy
Sunday, July 5, 2009
So, today has been a roller coaster of a day, and it's only 6 PM now over here in Woodhaven Michigan. Shire reporting live from the wonderful Ihop attached to the truck station!
So, last night we got word that Werner came up with nadda and I'm going to have to hop off the truck here in Woodhaven for the couple of days it's going to take Dain to get to the Toronto area and back across. This resulted in 2 actions needing to happen:
1) Phone needed reactivated, and
2) The trailer needed inspecting before it went across the border.
Let's start with the phone. We took a small detour to hit a walmart to see if there was anything they could do to save my phone. Unfortunately, the woman said it should be receiving signal even if it couldn't call out due to lack of a phone number / airtime, so logically my unit must have finally broken after 5 years. Sad to see the Jenova phone go, but what can I do? I bought a candy bar phone that was on sale because the lady said it had 10 dollars of airtime with it.
When I got back out to the truck to figure out how to set up the damn thing, lie number one was uncovered- it didn't have airtime with it, only a 10 dollar bonus for activating it.... with a 25 dollar airtime card. /sigh. That ticked Dain and I off, but we need to be able to communicate while we're seperated. Can't do anything about it.
Tried to activate it using the website, and the website for using pay-as-you-go plans is busted, so I had to call the 800 number from Dain's phone, and use the terrible computer voice recognition system. Finally eked my way through that system. Dain dropped 25 extra dollars on the card (making it a 55 dollar purchase as opposed to a 30 dollar one for the other phone that was there) so we'll wait and see if the 10 dollar bonus shows up. If not, we'll call and bitch about it.
On a hunch, I decided to find out if my Jenova phone really bricked itself from being dropped one too many times / lost too many phone numbers. Apparantly, Jenova was not ready to give it up. Booted up like nothing was wrong, picked up the signal immediately and was able to place a call to Dain's phone with no issues. Dain immediately returned the call so we could geek out over my custom Jenova ring tone I made for myself as we whinnied like geeky schoolponies. XD
Dain thinks it was a bum sim-card, but only ATT stores could actually sell you one of those outright, so I'll keep the candybar phone to give to Equus if he needs it. Our hooves were tied in this case, since we haven't been anywhere near an appropriate facility for that our entire trip. Whee!
So, here at the Detroiter we find out what we need to do to get the trailer inspected. Dain takes it through to the garage terminal, and the guy looks over our entire rig, pops the hood and is like "Oh sweet jesus...!". Long story short, there's no way we'd pass the DoT checkpoint legally. So now we're -both- stuck here for the moment while they try to work over the problems, the engine codes, the new coolant leak, and we can't help but have silly grins on our muzzles because this is all the crap the Fontana people refused to fix right before I got on the truck. This truck may be sidelined entirely, in which case we'd get to break in a different truck! *grins widely* With each passing day the odds that another truck will have to sweep in and take the load while we're down for repairs increases.
So, going to be here for a bit. Our clock is going to run out so it looks like the Detroiter is our home for at least another half a day. I hope you all had a great fourth of july!
If you would like my new phone number, please send me an email or leave a comment / private message.
Current mood:  happy
Saturday, July 4, 2009
It would appear we're still detroit-area bound, but now with a saving twist- Werner has graciously agreed to either split the load (Someone else takes it from Detroit) or swap it entirely (We trade destinations with another werner driver in the area.) meaning we won't be forced to drop me at a hotel for an extended stay.
I've mixed feelings, this weekend. It's a holiday weekend, and Equus is back at home, patiently waiting for his shire's return...meanwhile, I feel like I'm dodging bullets these last few days. Getting a few more questions answered, a few new insights, including one that scares me a lot, which I'll elaborate on here.
I will start by noting that both my parents were Captains in the Marine Corps before they left to pursue a family, having my brother, and then (barely) me. If there was anything that was ingrained into me from the upbringing I had, it was the concept of Structure. Capital S very much intended, even. My parents found the Franklin Covey planner system early in my life, and took to it severely, and it seems to work exceedingly well for them- essentially you end up planning everything you do down to the minute detail. When I was old enough, they tried to introduce me to it, but it never really worked for me. Something inside told me I shouldn't be planning things down to that level- why write it down and then do it when you could just do it?
This is an interesting view into where I need to be going. For as long as I can remember, ironically, I couldn't stand doing things without a purpose. This also includes making sure I take the most effecient process available in executing said tasks- no long country roads for me. I'll take the interstate, thanks. This alone lets me look at Equus in a different light.... looking at the things he does in a different way. Things that had once aggravated or disappointed me take on a different shade.
How to step back... how to destructure. Definitely not going to be all at once, and it's a scary concept for me. But this is a very good explanation as to why I haven't been able to "find" myself. I think an appropriate phrase I should do well to remember moving forward here is "A human plans: A shire does." When I do something spontaneous I feel fantastic, probably even when I shouldn't. Take for instance the 8 mile hike I took in the middle of Santa Fe Springs, CA. On foot, it took around 2.5-3 hours. What was of such importance to make a trip? One instruction booklet. *the shire laughs* I look back on it and I'm thinking I'm crazy, and I paid for it for a couple days after with sore legs, but it felt great, and still does. I will admit to some OCD satisfaction in that I really really really hate having games that don't have the instructions with it. I don't think I've even had to crack open this particular manual yet either- but I feel better for having it. X)
Being spontaneous has gotten me in trouble before, too. Just being lifted up and carried away by the moment of "what shire wants to do" did result in me leaving for Washington that fateful February. But to an extent, it also got me on this truck to begin with, although a good deal of planning went into making the moment such a ride would be possible, possible. Perhaps that is why this trip feels good- there is nothing planned about it at all. And yet, I am with my herdbrother, Dain. He's been doing his best to make sure I'm comfortable here and for that I'm grateful. But above all this is a lesson in the unknown. I couldn't tell you where I'll be 3 days from now, and that won't change until I'm off this truck and back home. There is something strangely uplifting about this situation, I'll admit.
I'm going to need to find a balance here, the same as the post I wrote previous about the triangle between Humanity, Therian, and Furry. Being completely unstructured would most undoubtedly lead to me making an embarassment of myself and bringing shame to equus, but on the flip side, being overly structured will lead... and has lead... to losing myself in all the rigidity that plans, routines and methods despite the security they bring. I know my friesian will keep me in line one way or another I think, and I have had and continue to have one of the most supporting cast of friends I think anyone will ever have the pleasure of knowing.
We're leaving the Arch and St Louis behind, but it brought a wave of nostalgia to see it from all points around the city, memories of my high school trip here for the band competition... like seeing an old friend again you hadn't talked to in ages. It's a shame we couldn't stay for the fireworks display, but that's alright. I'm sure there's going to be plenty of kabooms no matter where we end up. I don't think we'll make Indianapolis tonight before we run out of driving hours, but that's alright, as it gives other drives time to also get to there ahead of us for potential swaps / splits. If not there, then it will be Detroit Area. But I have faith that Werner will get the ducks in a row before we get too close to the border.
That's about all I've got for this update. This trip keeps leaving me wondering what the next turn of events will bring, but so far, almost all of whats happened has been good for me in some fashion or another. :) *whuffles and shakes his mane out, heading back out on the trail*
Please forgive the cry for help, but something unexpected has come up to make us more than a little wary.
The truck has been routed to Canada- I can't go to Canada. I don't have a passport, so I would be denied entry at the border. This would leave me stranded in Detroit, of all places.
I am looking for someone, anyone, that would be willing to meet up with us somewhere along the line here so I can get to an airport or a bus terminal. Potential areas include St Louis, Indianapolis, Chicago, and of course, Detroit.
Worse still, the load Dain would be carrying would be going to the Toronto area, meaning he'd be coming back via the New York entry into the country.
As of right now, things are not looking good at all.
Will keep everyone advised as the situation changes... and in this case the best thing that could happen is that we don't get routed like the qualcomm says we'll be routed.
Flare
Current mood:  scared
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Just a note to say we had a great time at Origins. I am working frantically to reassemble ourselves for this weekend at AnthroCon in Pittsburg. We leave early thursday morning.
So, nothing new. If yours is one of my 1200 e-mails, well, I hope I don't miss it.
The Game is On!
Monday, June 29, 2009
Sometimes events seem guided for ones benefit. As the fates would have it, I got a chance to spend an evening with my good friend and brother-in-hoof Pokey Pony after he had cancelled several events unexpectedly, only to find out that Dain and I were going to be in the area with a healthy amount of downtime to kill.
If nothing else, Pokey is really awesome at not hiding anything in his words, and I got to spend a great amount of time discussing my current situation with him. I gained a lot insight into major events in my past, and even a sign that I was not so lost as I thought I was, as far as trying to straighten my path out.
I have a question to put to you all, in the vein of information gathering.
I want to become a more balanced person, and as I see it right now, I have a "map" that is a triangle, with each point of the triangle representing an extreme.
At the top of this triangle, is "Humanity". This represents the things that I need to adhere to to keep my physical body going- Things in the humanity sector would include getting a car and license, having a job, having a home. Material things to nurture and protect myself in a material sense.
At the left point of the triangle, is "Therian". This is the grey area that I am in the process of fleshing out, and thus it is messing with the rest of the map, causing the confusion I'm undergoing. Things in the therian sector would be understanding horses, understanding what makes me not human, as opposed to things in the humanity sector. I really need to get some contact with actual horses, even if just for a little while, to make some more significant process on this. Nothing will beat the real presence of a horse- the books, advice, and conversations just won't cut it.
At the right point of the triangle, is "Furry". Things in this sector include generating and maintaining my image as an anthro drafter as I see myself within the fandom, with all the social details that implies. When the fandom first found me, I started making a beeline for the extreme point of this sector, as I knew I didn't feel exactly "human" and thus I found the solution at the time to be as furry as possible... art, suiting, writing, music, the works. Unbeknownst to me, the therian sector had its own undercurrent of effects on this process, creating what everyone sees my image as today- Flare Starfire, shire horse, equine musician.
Balance is in the center.... human enough to take care of myself.... therian enough to realize that I'm different and here for a different reason than your average joe... furry enough to be able to socialize well, and enjoy performing for a unique subset of folks that not only don't mind seeing a shire get up on stage and play, but have actively encouraged such a thing. Even though I know my music isn't well accepted among the furries, thus meaning I need to try moving that particular objective to the humanity side, I am also learning that the way my music is generated- by channeling an emotion- is also closely tied to how horses communicate. So if investigate that link, my music may see an improvement as well as I unlock the mysteries inside my mind.
One by one, I'm seeing events in my life that have traumatized me have their meanings changed... Pokey alone helped me realize something that I had never seen before, in that the two most harmful events of my life shared common ground with each other, with me on either side of the equation in question. That.... was very cathartic. There's not really another way to put it, I think. As each stumbling block is overcome, each obstacle falls away, I feel a little better. Pokey said change is not instantaneous, and he's absolutely correct. I still have a long ways to go, but I am honestly feeling a little better... a little bigger each day.
I am determined to be a stallion that Equus can be proud of... but even more importantly, a shire that -I- can be proud of. This goal has been long in coming, and I'm starting to get a glimpse at how 'Tivo must see things, and that just makes me strive all the harder. The catch I'm now seeing is being a good human will also be part of being a better stud. Soon, that will be well on its way to being much more secure. I'm looking forward to my driving test more than ever, now.
Not sure how much longer I'm going to be on the truck- Depends on where this next "leg" takes us- if it takes us up through central CA I'll be back with Equus in a couple days here.
States hit thus far:
California
Nevada
Utah
Wyoming
Colorado
Oklahoma
Texas
New Mexico
Arizona
It's been one hell of a trip, and I think we've logged over 3000 miles since I hopped on the truck over a week ago. Still going, and still having a blast. Seeing the world and all the beautiful sights has been a rejuvenating experience. I've come close to crying a couple times while I'm out here. Perhaps some tears would do me good, though.
We'll be headed for San Diego in a couple hours here. Deciding to do a night run to try and avoid some of the awful traffic in the area. X)
Took gil_liant out to see 'A Midsummer's Night's Dream' for his birthday on Saturday. Thankfully, the theatre's air-conditioning was adequate. When I'd heard Arclight was planning to do 'MND' with a Mexican setting, I was pretty dubious, but the production was the -best- I've ever seen.
[Except for Puck, I tend to be rather apathetic about the faeries - and actively dislike Oberon, but WOW! the edge they gained from being ouzel was fantastic - and I loved the interpretation of Oberon.]
Current mood:  hot
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Begins with a single step, right?
In this case, it begins with the step up into the big rig with my dear friend and windbrother, Dain. As I had hoped it would, this trip is making possible the frame of mind nessecary to further my own trip into my understanding of myself.
As it stands now, I am writing from Amarillo, Texas. I've been in at least 5 different states since we left California, with more surely to follow on whatever few days are left in my trip here. I will say that it is something else, riding high over the road... and truck stops are totally awesome.
Looking in the mirror every day as I step into the shower stall, I'm beginning to see a change in the horse I see reflected back at me. One major change that has happened, is fashion related of all things. *chuckles* I have retired my hat of 5+ years, my Charizard hat, destroyed as it was, I did love it, but I think at this point, I have matured past wearing a Charizard on my head. Dain was kind enough to get me a new hat while we were in Denver, Colorado- a Bronco's hat, my favorite NFL team, with the sexy raging horse logo I'm so used to.
Let me tell you, it looks really good- and I don't feel awkward putting it on as I had my previous one. Everyone knows it's a football hat, and that comes off as normal and acceptable to folks. No more second glances because my hat is sending the wrong message.
I
I took a good look at myself this evening, after I was done showering and shaving, putting my clothes back on as I wait on my clothes to finish in the truckstop laundromat, and I have come to a new and startling conclusion.
I look fantastic. The haircut Equus gave me is getting just long enough to make me look great with or without my new hat. I'm not a toothpick. I can be a chubby chaser still, but I don't think I'm going to try to put on the weight anymore. I like how I look, and this is the first time I can see the horse looking back at me saying, "You look awesome, now go knock em off their hooves!"
My car has a nickname now- his name is "Pony", because he's my hoss to take me places. :) I got a flashlight for my keychain, and a little pony from Texas to adorn the back seat, much like the plushy in the back of Friesian's Subaru. I can't wait to get home so I can take my drivers test, so Pony and I can take our first trip together.
My view of horses continues to become more balanced with time- I'm realizing how little I know about my four legged brethren, and once I can drive around on my own, I will be trying to arrange some way of rectifying that. They have a lot to teach me, I think.
Meanwhile, being a working passenger for Dain is something else. I try to be helpful in any way I can manage, and while I think I wore thin on his nerves today because I kept him up too much, I think we're both enjoying ourselves.
I'm not missing XI too much while I'm out here. Just another sign that I'm moving on- and moving up. I wonder where we'll be going next? These truck stops are fascinating stops, always something new reflecting the area we're in. Fortunately, the south loves us equines! I got a fantastic shirt that kinda spoke to me from Utah- I'll be taking a nice photo of me in it and posting it so you all can see the new and improved me- which if I don't miss my guess, isn't that far off from what I was before, seeing how most of you are constantly telling me I'm so cute and loveable and smarmy stuff like that. ;)
In a backwards way.... I'm starting to feel more like myself, and I like it. One step at a time. I'll be home soon, my beloved friesian. I love you.
Flare
Current mood: happy
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